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That we meet in our middle way,
on our way back down to earth.

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Pamela 11071995

I felt that night, on the stage, incredibly close to everything in the universe, but also extremely alone. I wondered, for the first time in my life, if life was worth all the work it took to live. What exactly made it worth it? What’s so horrible about being dead forever, and not feeling anything, and not even dreaming? What’s so great about feeling and dreaming?

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©Glamouresque.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Come on, brain.

HELLO.

the day started with me reading my messages. oh well.

i used TWO bowls of water to cook ONE packet of maggi this morning. this has never ever happened, but ya. so, i poured the other bowl away. duh, my noodles were bland. i had to add like more spice into it, after cooking. oh well. PAMELA'S BRAIN IS UNABLE TO THINK PROPERLY.

perhaps, it was what i've been thinking through the night, that affected my brain. i cried myself to sleep last night. it was the only way i could make myself sleep, last night. the one and only way i could get my eyes to close. by crying, and exhausting my eyes, for them to close, and to let me have some peace in my mind. 3 options flashed into my mind, from time to time. i've come to a decision. and, i've not told anyone about it yet. the 3 options that shadow gave me, the 3 that made me think like hell, the 3 that made me wreck my brain like mad. D: what's my decision? no one knows, yet. i guess..

i was writing history notes just now. it seems like lots of fun. thinking back, and just focusing on the subject itself. block everything out from my brain. i feel like calling Eng Sheng now to talk. hahahahaha. this "laugh" is so empty. after finishing writing my chem, bio, physics, geography and history notes, i am going to bind them together.

now, my family is like questioning me lots of questions. like;

- what were you talking about with Eng Sheng yesterday?
[ uh, nothing much, PSLE? (obviously not.) ]
- you all chat for so long, talk about what?
[ you ask so many times, can you please stop asking me? ]
- you change boyfriend is it?
[ are you crazy? boyfriend?! talk?! outside the house?! you're right.. ]
- you all talking about what 'old man', 'old woman', 'son'?
[ ohh.. talking about some comic. (inside secret. :D) ]

lots more. come on, it's just talking. i must so make him talk to me alot on Monday. :D

i'm looking for a shoulder to ly on. and just stay there, for ages. and most probably, wet that person's shoulder. perhaps, if i just take a walk in the neighbourhood now, i can probably find someone, i know and can spare me some time.. hang on. i can call. yay, i got myself a shoulder..

wheeees. bye.