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That we meet in our middle way,
on our way back down to earth.

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Pamela 11071995

I felt that night, on the stage, incredibly close to everything in the universe, but also extremely alone. I wondered, for the first time in my life, if life was worth all the work it took to live. What exactly made it worth it? What’s so horrible about being dead forever, and not feeling anything, and not even dreaming? What’s so great about feeling and dreaming?

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©Glamouresque.
Friday, November 28, 2008
Forgotten.

HELLO.

I so dread Wednesday training. Everything was going fine till the 1-on-1. I got freaking pushed down. & there I go again, two freaking wounds. One of them is much better than the other, freaking hell, how many scars am I freaking destined to get in my whole freaking entire life. I must so use tons of scrub on my two knees when the two fresh wounds recover. ): I’m so freaking pissed. Why do you still need to freaking go and get the freaking basketball when it was already freaking out? Will you get a freaking “good offence” for it? I don’t think so. & I was freaking crying when I was putting the freaking medicine on the freaking wound.

Anyway, yesterday was fine. Stayed home the whole entire day thinking of what kind of plaster to use from today’s training, decided on the normal looking ones. Shadow came in the afternoon and we talked. At least I have someone to talk to. Rather than my cousin who stares at electronic games and becomes oblivious to the ugly world, which is a good thing in a way. & my sister who listens to her HSM 3 cd and writes god knows what on foolscap. Basically, all he does is respond. Oh, oh, oh. He told me that ____ has a girlfriend. Oh my freak. I can’t believe it. But, who would like an ego maniac. Though shadow said ____ has changed for the better, but I doubt he would not call me short the next time I see him. Shadow sucks at rating how girls look. I asked him one “simple” question for 10 over times, “Is the girl pretty or what?”, and all he could say was, “average?” Argh. Then he started his talk about how his parents would react if he has a girlfriend, how it would be like, & telling me that you like someone because you’ve got “feelings” for her and he won’t mind a fat ass, as long as the “feeling” is there whatnot. It’s the “feeling“, do you all get it? I think its just common sense. But, just to be a wet blanket, I won’t fall for some fat ass or horrible looking freak.. I don’t think there would even be “feeling” in the first place. Oops.

There was training in the morning today. Gosh. The sun was super uber duper-ly hot. I got a sun burn, in just an hour. My face was burning like hell. We played 1-on-1 & 2-on-2. My partner for 2-on-2 was Adeline, the #13s. Lol. I tried my hardest to avoid ___ during 1-on-1 & 2-on-2, no offence, but I seriously don’t want another fall.

Had lunch with Yiying, Adeline, Jamie, Shaikha and Shawn at Magic Wok. The magical place where magical food is serve. Ms Mo came in when we were waiting for our food and we asked her to join in. she treated us fries, but went off soon after. Chatted about random topics. From smelly sweaty people to Chinese from China.

.. & here I am. Oh. I did the quiz that Samantha did on her blog. The one about “getting to know yourself better.” & I don’t totally agree with everything. Here goes, the words in brackets are my comments. :D

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

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Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties. ( I’m not SO straightforward. )

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes. ( Oh. Smart people, I hate them. Can you freaking imagine how boring and torturing it is to be with a nerd that floods you with lots of knowledge that you don’t want? Good-looking people are easily noticeable, making them standout. & they can be my style, too. Haha. )

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship. ( Uhm, no comments. :X )

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love. ( “fall deeply and beautifully in love.” oh right, but, no? )

Your views on education

Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own. ( YUP ! )

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life. ( oh okay. )

How do you view success:

Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working. ( uhm.. Not really. )

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear. ( ew. I can’t be freaking bothered to change myself for someone to accept me. )

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

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Lol. I’m like already planning my future roughly. I must so fish a gold tortoise, and I won’t have to worry about anything after that. (: ya, it’s a VERY rough plan. But it is so wonderful if it actually works out.

Bye. :D